I Love Me…I Love Me Not

There’s this phrase that I say when I’m trying to frame something difficult that I’m experiencing. It goes something like this: “I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t been who I was at that time or I hadn’t gone through everything that I did.”

Do I really mean it, though? Am I that at peace with my past and present selves? Yes and no. In the moment when I say that, I am…maybe. I believe it, logically, AND I believe it’s a way that I try to frame things so I feel a bit better. 
In my quiet moments, there are times when I chastise myself for things I’ve said or done, didn’t say or do, or did or didn’t experience. My self-critical side rises up and smacks me on the head and makes my heart shrink a bit. 

-Does that sound familiar? 

-Have you ever experienced this?

It is absolutely true that we wouldn’t be where we are, had we not gone through everything exactly as we did. That’s just how sequencing of events works, though.

The emotional interpretation of this sequence  is a different story. Personally, there are times when I wish that I could have wisdom, without having to experience the challenges. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a magic eraser to extract certain aspects of our experience and just leave the shiny parts? 

It doesn’t work like that, though, and I/we know it. Like the quote in the artwork underscores, true freedom comes when we integrate all of our parts, accept them and, ideally, celebrate them.

-What parts of your story do you shy away from? 
-What might you be able to do on behalf of this integration, acceptance and celebration?