What do you get when you’re tunnel-visioned? When your focus is too narrow? When success can only look a specific way?

Frustration and disappointment…possibly missed opportunities… 

A year ago, I was in Santa Fe, at the Modern Elder Academy, attending The Bonus Round workshop with Pam McLean, Tom Pollack and Joy Leach. To be clear, I went in with no expectations, other than hoping to learn about possibility, during this next stage of my life. 

I set a clear goal…create and offer art workshops to promote and support wellness. 

Goals are good, right? Goals are good, though, right? No one asked that of me. On the contrary, I was encouraged to think broadly. We’re taught to have them to be successful. So, I was following my longstanding programming to become successful and achieve my goal.We’re taught to have them to be successful. It worked for me in the past. So, I was following my longstanding programming to become successful and achieve my goal.

Any idea where this might be going?

To be fair, it hasn’t been a total flop. A partial one…sort of…

I tried in all the ways that I knew to make something happen. In fact, I’ve lost count of how many times no response has been the response to my outreach. Frustration and disappointment came from not being able to do these workshops as frequently as I had envisioned. 

I never went back to question the vision, though…I just kept trying to make something work which wasn’t…

It has been a year and, now, I have a 360 degree view. 

What was it that I had really wanted?

To explore and develop my art and share it with others…

I’m going to outline this, not in a self aggrandizing way BUT, rather, to illustrate how life, oftentimes, knows better than us. 

This an invitation for you, too, to look at your trajectory, examine your expectations and any surprises along the way.

So, what has happened in my year post Bonus Round workshop?

-two art workshops with Monterey County Family & Children’s Services 

-a biweekly blog post about wellness, coupled with mixed media collage

-a coffee table book containing my art and writing

-a developing skill using video making technology to showcase art, music and writing 

-a restart of my jewelry-making venture that has been dormant for years

-participation in local barter fairs and artisan festivals show casing my art and jewelry

-helping my partner develop and launch his own jewelry making endeavor 

-meeting a community of creators

-a new volunteer opportunity that will soon combine my work in mental health with my love for art

With the exception of the art workshops, NONE of the above was on my radar.  

So, I go back to the word Bonus and explore what it actually means:

-something extra on top of what was expected 

I got what I hoped for this past year, without realizing it. In hindsight, the Bonus wasn’t the art workshop adventure. It was all of what happened around it that I hadn’t anticipated. My lens was too narrow to see what could be.

If you widened your lens, what would you see?