I like to be comfortable. I like to know what’s coming next. New experiences seem appealing until I actually have to experience them. Then, the doubt sets in and I have to cajole myself into taking action. 

What I have learned, though, is that if I only do what I’ve always done I won’t grow and develop. I can become complacent and stagnant. Unequivocally, I don’t want that for myself. However, with time and age, this has become more challenging.

Recently, I participated in a one-way interview. I didn’t even know what that was but soon learned that it entailed being videotaped, answering a set of questions through a hiring platform. I was told that I could re-record myself if I didn’t like how I had answered specific questions. I had one week to complete it.

My nerves set in and I began imagining what it would be like. What would I say? How would I manage my non-verbal body language? What if I looked strange on camera? With no cues from another person, how would I gauge my performance?

It didn’t matter that I had participated in countless interviews during the course of my career. The technology aspect of this process, along with no one to interact with, made this anxiety provoking. It would be a completely new experience. 

So, I told myself that I would do it over the weekend (avoidance). Or, maybe I wouldn’t even do it at all and just let it go (flight response). 

As I contemplated this, though, I asked myself “do you really want to give up because you’re nervous?” I realized that the longer I waited the more anxious I would become. I would ruminate on my performance and possibly get bogged down. So, I sat down and did it immediately and didn’t allow myself to re-record (except once or twice). I showed up just as I was, without much overthinking or over-engineering.

Before starting the interview, I created a “what’s the worst thing that will happen?” framework for myself:

-I’m either a good fit or I’m not. The outcome won’t define me. It’s merely one experience along the road. There will be others. There always are.

-I’ll learn something new, ie how to do a one way interview. 

How many times have you, like me, tried to talk yourself out of something because it was new and, possibly, scary? Ever tried to convince yourself that things are fine just the way they are????? Why rock the boat?

Maybe a shift in perspective is in order: the true benefit might be in the “trying something new” vs “securing a specific outcome”…

My mom would ways tell me “nothing ventured nothing gained.” And it’s true…